The fact that the interview is over and presumably that they have had already made up their mind, I am still mentally slamming my head on the wall because now I can think of better answers. More elaborate answers instead of a mere 2 to 3 words I said. [Note to self : should've warned them that I'm a little slow when if comes to thinking of brilliant replies. Although I did tell them that I was not the faster learner *shrug*]
Also, I made it sound like the past 2 years was hell when actually, it wasn't that bad! I guess I just panicked and didn't really get that part of my thoughts and feelings out. And so I sounded like a whiny little bitch (in which I might have to agree ><) but actually when I was preparing the whole conversation of the interview in my head, I had planned to make it sound like I've learned from that 2 years.
The whole journey home was like hell. Both times. I kept getting bright answers that came a little too late. *not good being pressured* The interviewers asked a question and expect you to answer them immediately and for the record, having 3 people stare at you (although they try to assure you that this is a friendly interview to get to you know. Sorry honey, doesn't work! Being in a room that's too cold doesn't help too. More blood is used to warm my body thus lesser blood goes to my brain to think of better answers. My my, I did well in bio) I'm no good being pressured like that!
But I guess that's the kind of scholars they want. Students who can answer confidently right after you shoot them because they have a reputation to uphold. It's a damn well prestigious university! No wonder everybody goes "ohhhhhh" when you say you want to study there. I guess I won't be too wrong to say I didn't make the cut :( don't dare to dream of getting the scholarship no more
One thing I should also say is that I am like a book. On the surface I might look boring and just 'meh' but if they hang in there and get to know me, I'm one heck of a person. Then I should finish by saying 'don't judge a book by its cover' OMG that will be one heck of an answer to say during interview right? Okay. Too bad this fantastic idea came when I'm on the way home.
Another thing... In the first interview, they asked, "who is your idol and why?" That time I blanked. For the gazillionth time. No kidding. I replied, "well, I have no idol in particular because I learn from the people around me. There's a friend who I learned from, to be happy-go-lucky all the time, and also to try look for the silver lining no matter what and from another friend, I learn how to be hardworking and also another friend who I learn how to be patient. I believe we can learn something from anyone we meet" they asked and insisted again "name us an idol, and influential figure" *me thinking omgggg this is deep shit man. I don't idolize Obama or Nicol David or Tony Fernandez* So I insisted that I really don't have anyone in particular that I idolize. I could've said my mum but I didn't because that's so cliché. That's what people write in essays! The tearful heart jerking story about a fake sob story to impress the markers. I believe most of the time markers fall for it and forget that it's an English test and then evaluates it for the good storyline wtf. But seriously. We learn something from anyone and everyone everyday! No matter who you talk to, be it your grandparents, your parents, your kids, the postman, the gardener, etc. We just don't realize it because we're too busy doing something else. But if we just sit down and think of it, I'm pretty sure we can think of something.
I was definitely nailed in the interview. Get it right. I DID NOT NAIL THE INTERVIEW. IT NAILED ME. HARD. I felt so defeated even before it was over wtf. They asked me things that I thought I would eventually learn or pick up during my time in uni. But it seems like I have to know all that before I even start studying. On top of that, I was very underconfident? I thought uni was the place where people grow and develop self confidence and also learn more about their strengths and weaknesses. If I have had already know all that, wouldn't I leave uni being pretty much the same person? Except that I have a degree in my hands. Strangely, I've always thought that we leave uni with a cert in our hands, experience in our respective fields, wisdom and knowledge not only of wider aspects and topics but also of ourselves besides gaining confidence. And of course, I tried to sound like I am confident and know myself very well. Should've be more truthful and just admit to them that I have very low self esteem and maybe used some reverse psychology to convince them into offering me the scholarship :( IDIOT Now that I think of it, I should've asked them "isn't uni the place where people learn more about themselves and also gain confidence?" God knows what they will reply me, but I'm curious... Hmmmm
Oh wells, what I learned from this is that... No matter how long and how much you think you have prepared for an interview, it ain't gonna be enough yo. Don't be overconfident (not that I ever was) and also, don't be underconfident (that was certainly me! Sadly) Hmmmm this is the first post in my blog that's all words and no pictures. I had actually started blogging again right after the interview 2 years ago in hopes of improving my English vocab. Yeeap! Not really helping. But it's really something! The feeling when you pour your soul out in writing. It's indescribable and not to mention, surprisingly soothing I guess it gives me a sense of accomplishment. Jotting down how I felt about the whole experience, good or bad and what I learned from it.
Anyways, this post might be a boring one which
No comments:
Post a Comment