First of all, if you're close to me or if you know me very well, you might know that I have a fetish for non-factory made products. Well... some things only la. Like bags and purses and wallets. And also because it has meaning to it. You know that if you receive something handmade/homemade, the person spend lots of time and effort and sometimes money because one-of-a-kind things doesn't come cheap. That is if they reaaaally made those things themselves. If they cheat and buy handmade/homemade stuff from other people and then pass of as their own masterpieces, f you.
I just feel like it's more sincere because they take the time to think of what to make for you, how to make it, buy necessary things, spend their precious time making it, wrapping it and also passing them to you. Handmade/homemade stuff is a chore especially when you *I* have no talent in drawing and/or designing. [NOTE] I usually spend hours scrolling though the internet to look for inspiration. Sometimes I try to copy 100% from the original but then because I don't have the materials I often improvise and there I have it! Brand new design originally from me lol.
During the past 2 years, I have been making cards and mini scrapbooks for friends and family. In return, I was hoping for receive handmade stuff from my friends as well. So far I've received a nice felt cookie (very thoughtful because that friend used to call me cookie monster because I love biscuits and cookies) and also a dreamcatcher. Both gifts are very thoughtful, time consuming, and also very sweet :') And not forgetting my mega sized birthday card from my honey <3 <3 <3 That is a very touching gift. Beyond words :')
Oh, and I forgot to take picture of some of them because I tend to make them at the very last minute >< And so, I was mostly always rushing and just forgot/didn't have the time to take pictures. Whatever I have pictures of, I will post them here and also will learn how to put it in my Pinterest page. There probably won't be any tutorials because whatever I make is really simple, do-able in 30mins but somehow it took me the whole day to finish. Procrastinating wtf. http://www.pinterest.com/smallminitiny/ this is my link if you wanna follow me :D
Here's some preview of what I've accomplished so far! :D
This is the surge of emotions coming from the aftermath of the interview
talking. Does that even makes sense? Anyhow, it's the second time I
went for the almost same interview and again, I felt like I got nailed
by the panels. The first time because... Well, it was my first time, I
didn't know what to expect and then this time... It's because I prepared
the answers for the past interview, thinking that they'll ask the same
questions. I know, silly me, should've prepared better blah blah blah.
The fact that the interview is over and presumably that they have had
already made up their mind, I am still mentally slamming my head on the
wall because now I can think of better answers. More elaborate answers
instead of a mere 2 to 3 words I said. [Note to self : should've
warned them that I'm a little slow when if comes to thinking of
brilliant replies. Although I did tell them that I was not the faster
learner *shrug*]
Also, I made it sound like the past 2 years was hell when actually, it
wasn't that bad! I guess I just panicked and didn't really get that part
of my thoughts and feelings out. And so I sounded like a whiny little
bitch (in which I might have to agree ><) but actually when I was
preparing the whole conversation of the interview in my head, I had
planned to make it sound like I've learned from that 2 years.
The whole journey home was like hell. Both times. I kept getting bright
answers that came a little too late. *not good being pressured* The
interviewers asked a question and expect you to answer them immediately
and for the record, having 3 people stare at you (although they try to assure you that
this is a friendly interview to get to you know. Sorry honey, doesn't
work! Being in a room that's too cold doesn't help too. More blood is
used to warm my body thus lesser blood goes to my brain to think of
better answers. My my, I did well in bio) I'm no good being pressured
like that!
But I guess that's the kind of scholars they want. Students who can
answer confidently right after you shoot them because they have a
reputation to uphold. It's a damn well prestigious university! No wonder
everybody goes "ohhhhhh" when you say you want to study there. I guess I
won't be too wrong to say I didn't make the cut :( don't dare to dream of getting the scholarship no more
One thing I should also say is that I am like a book. On the surface I
might look boring and just 'meh' but if they hang in there and get to
know me, I'm one heck of a person. Then I should finish by saying 'don't
judge a book by its cover' OMG that will be one heck of an answer to say during interview
right? Okay. Too bad this fantastic idea came when I'm on the way home.
Another thing... In the first interview, they asked, "who is your idol
and why?" That time I blanked. For the gazillionth time. No kidding. I
replied, "well, I have no idol in particular because I learn from the
people around me. There's a friend who I learned from, to be
happy-go-lucky all the time, and also to try look for the silver lining no matter what and from another friend, I learn how to be
hardworking and also another friend who I learn how to be patient. I
believe we can learn something from anyone we meet" they asked and
insisted again "name us an idol, and influential figure" *me thinking
omgggg this is deep shit man. I don't idolize Obama or Nicol David or
Tony Fernandez* So I insisted that I really don't have anyone in
particular that I idolize. I could've said my mum but I didn't because that's so cliché.
That's what people write in essays! The tearful heart jerking story
about a fake sob story to impress the markers. I believe most of the
time markers fall for it and forget that it's an English test and then
evaluates it for the good storyline wtf. But seriously. We learn
something from anyone and everyone everyday! No matter who you talk to,
be it your grandparents, your parents, your kids, the postman, the gardener, etc. We
just don't realize it because we're too busy doing something else. But
if we just sit down and think of it, I'm pretty sure we can think of
something.
I was definitely nailed in the interview. Get it right. I DID NOT NAIL
THE INTERVIEW. IT NAILED ME. HARD. I felt so defeated even before it was
over wtf. They
asked me things that I thought I would eventually learn or pick up
during my time in uni. But it seems like I have to know all that before I
even start studying. On top of that, I was very underconfident? I thought uni was the place where people grow and
develop self confidence and also learn more about their strengths and
weaknesses. If I have had already know all that, wouldn't I leave uni
being pretty much the same person? Except that I have a degree in
my hands. Strangely, I've always thought that we leave uni with a cert
in our hands, experience in our respective fields, wisdom and knowledge
not only of wider aspects and topics but also of ourselves besides
gaining confidence. And of course, I tried to sound like I am confident and know myself very well. Should've be more truthful and just admit to them that I have very low self esteem and maybe used some reverse psychology to convince them into offering me the scholarship :( IDIOT Now that I think of it, I should've asked them "isn't uni the place where people learn more about themselves and also gain confidence?" God knows what they will reply me, but I'm curious... Hmmmm
Oh wells, what I learned from this is that... No matter how long and how
much you think you have prepared for an interview, it ain't gonna be
enough yo. Don't be overconfident (not that I ever was) and also, don't
be underconfident (that was certainly me! Sadly)
Hmmmm this is the first post in my blog that's all words and no
pictures. I had actually started blogging again right after the
interview 2 years ago in hopes of improving my English vocab. Yeeap! Not
really helping. But it's really something! The feeling when you pour
your soul out in writing. It's indescribable and not to mention,
surprisingly soothing
I guess it gives me a sense of accomplishment. Jotting down how I felt
about the whole experience, good or bad and what I learned from it.
Anyways, this post might be a boring one which most all of you will just scan though or not read at all, but this is by me, for me, and to me. Future me's. For the future me to read through the thoughts of a 20 year old me. To reflect on the person I used to be and also to think about the kind of person I have become. Hello future me :D I'm not making much sense now, but hopefully I will. Kthanksbye
