Can't escape from starting a post with saying phew~ can't believe it has been 2 3 months since the last one >.< things were lining up back-to-back and even tho some fell through, I still couldn't find time to update. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day has also passed hahhaa. But oh wells, such is life. But let's get to it, *long and deep breaths in and out*
I heard about this au pair program back in 2017/2018 from my then housemate (Gigi, an amazing Columbian who is more familiar with KL city than myself) as I was doing my practicum in Sayfol International School. She was an au pair in the US previously and had a great experience many years ago. This planted the seed in my head because I've always knew that I wanted to go back to the US again because the 3 month summer experience (USA Work and Travel program) wasn't enough for me. And that I thought the minimum length of 1 year for the au pair program was just nice for me to experience all the seasons and holidays!
For this au pair program that I'm under, correction: only childcare, and chores relating to the child. We are not required to do housework: cook and clean for the whole household, only for the kids. So meaning do the kids' laundry, cook for the kids, etc. We live with a host family, receive a stipend of $195.75 per week, we're required to enrol for educational courses to gain 6 credits (more credits required if you choose to extend your contract), encouraged to share your culture with your host family as it is a cultural exchange program after all. The way this works is that it needs to be a mutual agreement between the au pair and the host family to match with each other since it is a year long program. However, if things doesn't go well after numerous efforts from both ends, there is a possibility of a rematch too. Age restrictions: 18-26 year old. Minimum stay: 1 year, extendable up to 3 years. Oh and also, they will pay for your flight to US and your flight back home, if you complete your program successfully (obtain the required educational credits).
So after my practicum in March 2018, I went to Big Bear Lake, California for my second Work and Travel (WAT) experience from June to September. Then came back to Malaysia and started working (training) at Agoda in December 2018, after that resigned, went to HK with my cousin and then worked in Shell in February 2019. This portion doesn't have any relevance to the au pair experience and it's more like a note to my future self when I read this next time because I'm forgetful, so don't mind me. Then broke up with my then-ex in June. This marked my freedom and I could finally plan (without feeling guilty) my escape to join the au pair program! So I thought I would work a full year in Shell and then go to the US to be an au pair for 1 year, but God has other plans - Covid hit Malaysia in March 2020 (started in December 2019 in Wuhan, China). US got its first case in January 2020. I was obviously oblivious to this because I made the non-refundable deposit payment of $350 for the au pair application in February 2020 (yes, I scrolled back tons of emails to confirm this because I can't remember anything hahah).
This was bad because it was already hard enough to convince my parents to let me do this. [REASONS: US is not safe - too far away, guns, high cases in the US & people rejecting mask mandates, let alone quarantine, you're too old (it'll get harder for you to get a job when you come back after a year), career (you'll have to start all over again from the bottom), etc]. So based on that, I decided to stay in my role for another year while I wait for things to get better in the US before I could proceed. Fast forward to a year later, when vaccines were available and it was such a big relief when US has one of the highest vaccination rate!
Oh and also, the deposit payment usually expires 1 year after the payment but thankfully because of the quote: unusual circumstances, they graciously extended the validity for another 6 months. (I sent an email to enquire in March 2020 and by then, a different person from the agency responded to me instead. Hope she's alright).
And so I really started to work on my application (more than 300 hours of experience caring for kids, and 200 hours especially caring for kids under 1 year old). Luckily I had many hours from my teaching experience during my 8 month practicum at an international school. But times were hard because we were still waiting for vaccinations and everyone was still being cautious because of the virus, it wasn't easy to find young parents who would be willing for me to go over to help care for/learn how to care for their babies. But by God's grace, I managed to gain some experience. Amen! Special thanks to Daniel and Olivia, Kak Has and Shakki! Besides the number of hours, I had to record a video of myself and upload it to the portal, upload photos, complete a few questions with short paragraph answers, get a Physician's Review and get the Certificate of Good conduct (this is quite a hassle considering we had lockdowns and Putrajaya was under a special category that we couldn't enter even tho we progress to being able to travel across districts within the same state).
After all that, my profile is finally completed and gone live by end of May 2021. It was nerve wrecking waiting for interview requests, and interviewing with potential host families because it's a two-way thing. You want to make a good impression and also you hope to find a good family so that it'll be a successful year with them. I'm blessed to have matched with an amazing host family (they were the 3rd family that requested for an interview, and the 2nd family I spoke to because I declined another family because of their location - Manhattan, NY. I am aware that it's many au pair's dream to live in the big city, but it's really not for me. And because of the Asian hate going on in major cities, I was afraid for my safety too). I wanted to note here that I initially declined an interview with this family because I thought I was inadequate, their profile stressed on a few points that I was insecure about, like my driving and swimming skills because they live in a beach house (I don't drive and I could only keep myself afloat/swim with the frog style for the record). They were so sweet to reassure me on the points that I was uncertain and I thought that it was only fair that I at least talk to them after their efforts to convince me to talk to them, and I'm so glad that I did!
Au Pair application flow:
1. Submit application in Intrax online
2. Interview with host families
3. Match with 1 host family
4. Confirm arrival dates to US
5. Complete program payment fee $850
6. Apply for visa & international driver's license
7. Complete online training video
8. Prepare pre-departure project
9. Confirm your flight to the US (around 10 prior to the US arrival date)
10. Pack and fly to US
After matching with a host family and confirming my arrival date (5 August 2021 so that it's a few weeks before I turn 27 years old on the 28th August because of the age restriction for this program and if my pre-flight departure PCR test turns out positive, at least I have time to recover before I can take the next flight), I proceeded with Steps 5-8. Just when I thought all is well and I'm all set to go, the sad news came on 16 July: my host family is breaking the match :'( this is following the new policy that current au pairs are allowed to extend for their 3rd year (previously, extending up to a 2nd year was the max). This helps out lots of families and au pairs during this pandemic, so I truly understand. Besides, the host kid is starting school that fall, and it'll be a lot of changes for a little kid (new chapter in life, and new au pair) so I'm happy for them that they have the option to extend.
This brings me back up to Step 2 with a deadline of 21 July to match with a new host family. Thankfully I already received my visa at that point, so I was considered pre-visa and had that as an advantage. After checking with the agency, I was relieved that they could yet again extend my deadline to match to 12 August and after the agony of interviews after interviews that lasted for weeks, I finally matched with my current host family on the very last day/minute. I think we kind of missed it a little and they weren't able to click "Match" on the website and had to engage for assistance from the agency to do it on their end.
I reviewed 18 profiles and went through 15 interviews (from 7 host families, and some with their current au pairs) during that period. [REMINDER TO SELF: Learn from this and do not settle when you look for a job after this program ends] I have to say, I'm blessed to have the experience of receiving so many interview requests, so I could see the many different profiles of potential host families before deciding although it was extremely nerve wrecking because of the timeline. So many decisions to make during that time, and it wasn't easy declining interview requests and even more so, declining the potential host family especially after you have spoken to them a few times, plus talked to their current au pair! This could very well be a whole blog post of its own but mehhh let's see how I do with managing my time hahha. I'm ashamed to say that it was critically during this madness that I really remembered and prayed for God's guidance (when I'm in a big mess).
Back to the story! Since their current au pair's contract is only ending sometime in Oct/Nov, they prefer if I arrive on 27 August which is just a day before I turn 27 y/o and therefore would be too old to qualify for this program. I was very worried to say the least because if my PCR test comes out positive, my dreams will be shattered before I could even start. It was pretty sad because I needed to stay safe from the virus and couldn't meet up with friends for a farewell gathering, also because we had lockdowns prohibiting movements to districts, etc honestly I can't keep track anymore. Almost 2 years since Covid and maybe longer since I've met some friends due to work and distance, and I regret not meeting up with more friends before this. Yes, I could put my trust in Him and just go out for gatherings anyways but that will be foolish. And tbh, I was trying my best to reduce the possibility of getting in contact to anyone/anything just so that I could steer my future to the path that I want to go. I'm not proud to admit that I was so paranoid that I was scared to pickup mail in case that's how I contract the virus. Kudos to my family for trying their best to appease me by limiting their outings and contacts with friends/work too. Truthfully, I'm a little sad, jealous and disappointed to see friends gathering and meeting up a mere few weeks after I arrived in the US. Sighhhh if only our government didn't turn a blind eye and do as they like which resulted in the wide spread of the virus in our country. If you know, you know.
Tired of reading all these yet? Hold up, drama x habis lagi wehy. After rotting waiting at home for close to 2 months (last day of work in Shell is 8 July), THE DAY is finally here. 27 August. Time to fly to US! Went to the police station near my house to get permission for my parents and boyfriend to send me off at the airport (because there's still the restriction of 2 people in a car, and some distance/district rule idk) but the officers insisted that only ONE person can send me :'( they required my PCR test result, boarding pass and the IC of the person sending me for proof.
Ok, itu settle. So we had some good food for my last meal in Malaysia before I fly!
Thank you to my uni friends and Hailey for the cakes and BeKor for sending me the famous apple strudel from Fruity Bakery!
The officer took some time reviewing my documents, which I thought it was expected since this is quite a rare program that almost nobody knew about. He briefly asked what was the reason for my travels, asked for my MTP which I was unaware of and then proceeded to take my documents over to his colleagues to check. It is only at this point that I heard of this required document: My Travel Pass (MTP) to enter/exit the country during this Covid times. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!! I was denied exit from the country alamak. The officer asked such a silly question, I wanted to smash myself into the wall.
Me : Ya la, program au pair saya ni memang minimum 1 tahun!
I put up a fight up until the very last minute, insisting that I don't need to have the travel document based on this new "rule" until my boarding time and at that point, I feel like I'm just too exhausted to go on anymore because it was a 2AM flight and I was trying not to breakdown or explode with anger. Because no one said anything about this MTP at any stage of my application - the officers at the US embassy when I interviewed for my visa, the police officers when I went to get the travelling approval to the airport, the officers at the roadblock and by the airport entrance, and the agency of course doesn't know about this because this requirement is so badly executed.
After all that, the nightmare was still not over because I had to wait 2 hours at the airport to off-board my luggage, in which the officer say that there were many others who suffered the same fate with me - being unaware of this regulation and had to rebook a new flight and make new plans. This was a hassle because we have to leave our passport/IC at the counter to get a "pass" to go over to the Lost & Found (Main Terminal, Level 2) which is on the other end of the airport to retrieve our luggage. Oh andddd we also need to pay for a service fee at the counter. To get a pass. To retrieve our own luggage. Which we have to go personally and pick it up. Nothing in this process makes any sense.While waiting for the 2 hours as they offload my luggage and send it to the Lost & Found, I begrudgingly applied for MTP at the airport which they say would take 10 working days. It was 5am by the time we got back and showered. I was in shock and disbelief and was just too tired to process all the emotions. Woke up the next morning and cried so so hard in a long long long time. There was just too much on the line, my plans for the next whole year, the costs, my host family and host kids, the virus, etc. I remember praying and pleading to God to please let me go, but at the same time, still remembered to say "let thy will be done" but still inching towards please, I really really want to gooooo. Hahahah God and his helpers in heaven must've had a good laugh at my desperation.
The agency told my host family and I that it was a 50/50 chance because I might be denied entry into the US due to the fact that I have passed the age requirement. Luckily, the agency is paying for the flight so I told them that I would take the chance and fly over 20 hours across the world if my host family is willing to wait for me or rather wait for the MTP to be approved. They agency had no other au pairs try to enter the country weeks after their 27th birthday, only a couple of au pairs entering on their actual birthday. And even those were a hit or miss, depending on the US immigration officers on duty that faithful day. So there's nothing left to do but to wait for God's plan to unveil with time.
The wait for the MTP approval felt like forever. Every day, minute and second felt so long because everything was just unpredictable, and nothing was certain. I didn't know if I should start applying for jobs elsewhere in Malaysia or just... I don't know what. Felt like I lost the meaning of life. I didn't even know if I should unpack the luggage that I packed for a year's journey, so I was just living out of my suitcase for 3 weeks because I felt so helpless. The consolation to myself is that I could just eat all the Malaysian snacks (Choki Choki, Nano Nano, Apollo, Honeystars, Kokokrunch, Milo, Maggie mee, Bah Kut Teh packet, etc) and do all the arts and crafts (DIY batik kit) with the materials that I packed . It didn't help that I applied on the 27th August (Friday), followed by the weekend and then a public holiday for Merdeka.
A snippet of my luggage. I had 1 full luggage full of snacks, souvenirs and crafts hahah
Normally, I would rejoice over a holiday and would enjoy my birthday because it fell on a weekend. Even though there were gathering and travel restrictions, I could at least enjoy a nice meal at home with my family. But not 2021. It now holds the title of the worst birthday ever. Hahaha now I can laugh and joke about it now but at that time, it was agony. Although, reflecting back, it's not too bad because I have my amazing significant other by my side all through this whole rollercoaster journey (lol the adventure hasn't even officially begin at this point). Without whom, I would be extra restless, confused, lost, so undecided and too defeated by how things play out to function. To you bb, thank you for your love and support from the application stage, interviews, matching, rematching, travelling to the airport and up until now ♡. I couldn't have done it without you, as cliché as it sounds.
Ahhh young and innocent 26 year old me, not knowing what adventure the next day holds
I was worried that host family will break the match while waiting (who knows how long) because I have been such a hassle (very rushed matching decision on their part too). They also dismissed their current au pair to make way for my arrival and they're now with no au pair to help them especially when the new schooling semester just started in late August. I've also definitely passed any further deadlines to match already. I was also worried that if all things worked out, what if I suddenly got Covid? It would mean that I needed to stay back another 2 weeks for recovery before I could fly, and would my host family even wait that much longer?
I made multiple calls to their hotline (more like cold-line because there's either no answer or a staff giving me yet another number to call that goes unanswered or some staff rudely saying that no one from the department handling MTP is working in the office because WFH) and inquiry on their website to no avail. Atlas, my MTP finally got approved on 13 September. Exactly 10 working days, this is after I sent a few emails to a few officers as advised by some kind people stuck in the same situation (unable to exit the country) in a Facebook forum for students studying abroad in the UK. With that, we made new arrangements for me to fly to the US and we were met with another mountain in our path. Clinics and labs were closed on 16 September (Thursday) for Malaysia Day and they'll be closed on the weekends too. It's a very delicate situation because the PCR test for the flight is only valid for 2-3 days (depending on the airlines) and again, it still depends on the result of the test.
Thank God the result came out negative but I was still worried sick because I didn't want to catch anything before I fly or during the flight or at the airport and pass it on to my host family. And at that point, nobody knew if I would be allowed entry to the US too! But taking one step at the time, I had a good last meal with my family and surprised my dad with a simple pandan layer cake from the famous Regent Pandan Layer Cake for an early birthday celebration.
Amazed at my ability to smile at that point
At this point, there were not restrictions to travel so my parents and SO could send me off! :')
This time round, I got pass customs and immigration to exit the country (KUL) and flew 7 hours and had a 4h 50mins transit in Abu Dhabi (AUH). Then, before my 14h 15mins flight to Virginia (IAD), I was unsure but went through US Pre-clearance where my myself and bags were scanned, and got into a line and presented my passport (and visa) and DS-2019 and other docs at the counter. The officer just looked through everything, stamped my passport and said:
At that point, I wasn't sure what that meant... do I still have to go through security checks and immigration checks when I arrive in the US? But I quickly scrambled out of there in case she suddenly realises her mistake and calls me back hahaha. My host mum didn't know too, so there I go, onto another plane for a longer flight than the previous one. After landing, there didn't seem to be anymore lines for checks so I just followed the crowd and went to the carousel to get my luggages. One wheel was totally busted this time and came off but it's ok. It's an old one which I vowed to toss out during my last trip to the US in 2018 but didn't have the heart to, since it was still OK, even tho one of the wheel didn't work too well anymore. Once I have all my bags, I searched for the exit and walked toward the light, the outdoors and I was surprised to step out of the airport without anymore checks *tears of relief and joy* Hallelujah! My host dad picked me up from the airport with some helium filled balloons! They're still in my room, deflated now but I still can't bear to throw it out. Maybe I'll get them filled again sometime before I fly back hehehhe.
Back to that faithful day, host family (host mum in particular) was so relieved that I made it safely to the house for all the reasons mentioned somewhere above. I am too, but at that point, I was just exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally from the long flight + all the what if's and maybe's of the bad case scenarios and trying to adjust to the time difference (12 hours) to process the fact that I'm here! AMEN! Praise the Lord, now I know it's in His almighty plan for me to be an au pair after all that.
My faith was tested to the max during this whole ordeal but I'm grateful for this opportunity that I get this huge reminder to lean into His plans. During this 1 year experience here and for the rest of my life, I aim to seek His guidance in good and bad days. Hopefully also documenting my growth in faith here on this platform so that I am reminded whenever I reread what my past self wrote.
Anddd a few short weeks after that big commotion, the MTP is abolished. Effective 11 October. 😡 sighhh if only they knew better and abolished this earlier, a lot of drama can be avoided. But anyhow, what has passed is past and there's that. Without that, this loooonngggg blogpost won't exist right? Moving on, we'll see how often I can update this story before I write an epilogue :D in the meantime, feel free to check out my Instagram @smallminitiny for throwbacks (I just finished throwing back to Halloween in mid February just so you know) and maybe my Youtube channel in the next few weeks or months for a video lol I'm being ambitious now.
